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Goodbye

As long as it’s been, you’d think I would have been able to let Him go and get over Him, but nothing could be further from the truth. Every moment of everyday He is on my mind, every detail of us constantly replaying in mind. My heart shattered into little pieces, my soul aching for what once was. I continue to breath, my heart is still beating, yet I’m completely dead inside without Him. I’ve always been able to get over men and move on without a problem, but this time, this time is eternal hell. Time has not made anything easier, nothing has faded, it’s all still raw.

I made the final step though, I told Him goodbye. I’ve never been able to say it before. I never thought I’d ever say it at all, not to Him. I needed to do it though. Somehow, some way, I have to let go and start to heal. Moving on isn’t even a glimpse on my radar yet. I’m not sure there is any moving on after Him. But for now, I need to allow myself time to grieve, time to heal. The love I have for Him is beyond anything I’ve ever felt before, and sadly probably ever feel again. My heart is so guarded to protect what He had left me with. I honestly don’t think there is any moving on. To me that would imply that what I feel for him was small and forgettable.

The irony of all of it, He doesn’t appear to care at all. It’s been over a month since I’ve heard from Him at all, and although He maintained that he still cares for me deeply and doesn’t want me out of His life, His actions are very clear. I gave Him everything. Every party of me completely. I kneeled in front of Him with my head down to show him that he completely owned me. Something no one else had ever given to Him. I loved him completely, I saw no fault or evil, just my Master, who loved me in return. I don’t know what more I could’ve done for Him, what more I could’ve given. He had more of me than I’ve ever trusted anyone else enough to give, He had me body, mind, and soul. I belonged to Him.

Things change, I know. When I said goodbye, although it practically killed what is left of me, I meant it. I know it’s time to let go of what had been, as it is no more. Maybe this love is different than vanilla love, stronger, because of how much you truly give of yourself. Sometimes I wonder if He even realized what it was I had given to Him. All of that no longer matters, I’m left a shell of the woman I once was.

Moving on at all is unlikely, but finding another Master? I don’t think I ever could. I finally found what I wanted, what I needed, when I entered this relationship. He showed me what I had been missing all my life, things I didn’t even know I wanted. He showed me who I really was. I can’t forget that no matter what happens in the relationship. I can’t forget that He was the safest place I’ve been in my life, and how it felt to FINALLY be able to feel safe. So many things about Him I can’t forget, but I can’t hold on either.

With all my soul, I love you Master. You are still the only man I’ll ever want or need, but it’s time. Goodbye.

Catching up

I know it had been quite a while since I have last posted, but my life was in a bit of uncertainty. Master and I had been having some issues for a few months which left me very depressed, trying to tell a story from a very happy moment was too much to bear. It all came to head, and on Christmas Eve I made the choice to walk away from Him. It was the hardest action I have ever taken in my life.

I love Him, I need Him, I love Him, He owns me body, mind, and soul, He is my everything, walking away was the one thing I never thought I would do. Sometimes life leaves you with choices that have no positive side, but still you are forced to make them. This was most definitely one of those choices.

To this day my heart still breaks missing him so much, my eyes still flood with tears entirely too often, I still pray every single day that this is just a nightmare that will soon end. However, I wake every morning to realize the worst thing I could ever have imagined is really my life.

I’m still struggling to try to let go, to move on, but it is seemingly impossible to do that. My memories are far too vivid, too cherished, to allow me to forget Him and all that He was to me and my life. This man that taught me a lifetime of information about myself and my sexual desires, this man who I truly worshipped and wanted nothing more than to serve, this man who holds my heart in a way no other man has ever done, this man, my love, my Master, I cannot find a way to let him go.

I pray to anyone that will listen to my pleas everyday to send Him back to me. For everything to be as perfect as it once was. To once again feel that deep connection and chemistry that I’ve never known before. My prayers have yet gone unanswered and my life has become a daily battle with the true weight of my loss. I feel that I’ve already been through more pain than a lifetime should allow, but each day only brings more. Each day I try not to regret my decision to walk away, because deep inside I know for once I did what was best for me, but it is a rare day that I don’t regret it and want to take it back.

I thank God that I was blessed enough to find a few friends that could truly understand how I feel and what I am going through. The only ones I’ve ever known that completely understand how a love between a Master and His sub is so significantly different from that of a vanilla love. Without them I could never have made it this far. I would not have made it at all. I have no idea what I did to deserve them, but I cannot imagine my life without then now.

His wanton slut ❤

A lesson that Master knows how to pleasure me – Part 2

“Come to me” He demanded. I stood slowly, my head still a tad clouded from the orgasm that, only moments ago, had lingered just out of reach. I dropped to my knees at His feet with my hands behind my back. I learned in my first lesson that a good sub must always do this, but now I feel it more as a privilege than a requirement. This is where I belong, kneeling at Master’s feet, waiting for Him, craving His touch, wanting so much to please Him.

He abruptly grabs my hair at the nape of my neck and pulls me in to kiss Him. He pulls my hair tighter, my body tingles at the slight pain. Forcefully his tongue enters my mouth and with the immense passion, the kiss turns smouldering. Feeling the heat of it in every part of my body, my pussy filling with the liquid of my wanton lust for Sir. I find myself getting lost in this moment of tenderness Master is bestowing upon me. Impetuously, using my still finger entangled hair, He pulls my head back away from His mouth.

“I allowed you to enjoy my kiss. You did enjoy it correct?” He inquired. “Oh yes Master, I most certainly did!” I eagerly replied. “Good girl. Now you may use your tongue in the same manner to please the head of my cock.” His words were softly spoken, but still as clearly an order as if He had said them loud and abruptly. With my hands still behind my back, like a good girl, I immediately put my mouth gently on the head of His cock. I use my tongue to caress and flicker the head, while using my teeth, varying the pressure I used, on the most sensitive part of Master’s rock hard cock. I know when I do this, He is driven wild and insane with the need for more, the need for me.

His cock is far, very far, beyond anyone’s version of an average size. In fact, other than in movies, I had never seen anything of His magnitude. Easily 9 inches hard, if not more, and an amazingly large girth. It easily filled every open space in my mouth and caused my pussy to stretch, creating pain and immense pleasure every time he enters me. As visually perfect and beautiful as Master is, so is His cock. A perfect work of art, absolutely impossible not to worship.

“Now take my cock in your mouth,” He commanded,”all of it you dirty whore”. “Yes Master” I said some what garbled, as the head was still fully in my mouth. With my tongue flicking at the head and my teeth pressed firmly down, I once more brought myself back up to the tip. I hear Him inhaling a deep, pleasured breath as I finally release. “You may look at me while you suck it” He says with a slow exhale. I look up at Him and He grins. He knows I love to see his face as I suck His cock. The expression on His face, the primal hunger in His eyes, the sheer pleasure, and knowing He’s allowing me to give it to Him. My pussy floods at the sight of it, even just the thought.

I put it in my mouth, with my tongue gently exploring every bit of His manhood. A few soft, slow rounds of going up and down, making sure it is covered in my spit and will slide easily. I come back up to the top and slam my face down into His groin, as I do He rises and pushes further into my mouth. He groans with pleasure. He is deeply inside my mouth, filling it completely, the size of Him blocking my airway. Oh how I love this feeling. He holds my head there for a moment enjoying the pleasure I am so willingly giving to Him.

He pushes my head further down as He rises to fill my mouth and throat even further. I begin to gag. I watch the smile come across His face, the satisfaction twinkling in His eyes, while an evil laugh escapes Him. Master knows He is the only man that has ever been able to gag me. Until Him I was unaware that I could gag on anything or anyone, in knowing that, he so loves to do it. Watching His eyes light up like that, seeing His smile, I love when He does it too.

His wanton slut ❤

The submissive

When a submissive feels His embrace, she knows that she will always be protected from any harm. Being in His arms mean she is home and can be herself without any fear. She feels more safe and secure beside Him than she ever has in her life. Sleep becomes shorter just so she can wake and see Him, and reality becomes better than a constant dream just feeling Him beside her. She looks into His eyes and finds and feels true peace for the first time.

She feels His hand caress her hair and in her ear He whispers “I’ll always be here for you”
Her head snuggled against His chest, she feels His heart beat as it echoes through her soul. She offers to Him all that she is, all that she can be, every ounce of her being belongs to Him. She belongs only to Him, He truly owns her, body, mind, and soul.

She looks at her Master, knowing He is her world. He is her mentor that teaches her about herself, He is her guidance through the hard times, and her light through the darkness that surrounds her, her lover that gives her the emotional power she needs, her protector that she can always find safety with.

She looks up at Him, not because she is low or worthless, but because He is her shining star showing her the way even in the darkest of times, because He is the one she respects more than anyone. Not because He is a perfect man, no one is, but because He is worthy of such respect. He has earned it through caring for her and being a constant support for her and in her life. To Him, her Master alone, does she give this look.

-Author Unknown

His wanton slut ❤

A Master

True domination is about gaining a sub’s respect, her trust, her obedience, her honor to you, and her want and need to please you, only you, not because you commanded her to or because she fears you, but because she wants nothing more than to give these things to you. Because she wants to give you the gift of her submission. A true Master loves his sub completely, would protect her with his life, keep her safe from any type of harm, allow her to finally find peace in his arms. A Master knows before anything else in his life, she is His most important, most valuable property and knows she is as precious as the gift she had given to him. Her heart, her love, her submission.

-AuthorUnknown

His wanton slut ❤

A lesson that Master knows how to pleasure me – Part 1

I watch the sun setting through the French doors, with the sky full of pinks, oranges, and tinges of red here and there, as the sun makes it’s southern journey for the day. It is a majestic painting, the type only nature could produce, leaving me in awe of it’s beauty. I am kneeling, completely unclothed, with my hands instinctively behind my back. I am waiting for Master, devoted and tranquil, knowing that He is almost here with me. Yet I’m also feeling anxious and apprehensive, as my mind cannot even imagine what Master has planned for me tonight. I feel my heart beat quicken and strengthen when I think of the endless possibilities. I’m still very new to this, but Master has taught me enough already that I know, no matter what He does to me, He will give me more pleasure than I’ve known in my life. This, Sir has already proven to me.

He walks in the room. Such a visually perfect and beautiful man, unlike anyone I’d ever known. His 6’5 very muscular build fit him and His personality very well. His dark hair and eyes cause a mysterious air about him, like there was something hiding underneath of his beauty, and I’d already found there to be so much more. His features so well defined, almost like they had been etched by a sculptor, and every bit masculine. Not my usual type at all, yet here I am, wanting Him, needing Him, loving Him. Here I am, completely addicted to this man.

He is most definitely an Alpha male, without a doubt. Anyone in his presence or that were to speak to him knew that instantly, and their actions always followed suit. Whatever He wanted, He got, and was used to it that way. It had probably been that way for Him most of His life. When I looked at Him I didn’t see this “Alpha male” they all seemed to fear. I saw the man that could see into my soul, the man that made me feel safe, the man I yearned to please. I saw Him, my love,my Master.

He comes to me and runs His fingers through my hair as he whispers “Waiting just as you should be, good girl” into my ear. Just feeling his touch, hearing those words, oh those words, instantly sets my body on fire. Immediately I moisten, wanting, craving, needing Him to touch me more. To feel His powerful hands caress my soft skin. It is still difficult for me to fathom how He can have this effect on me, this complete control over my mind, my body, my soul. We’ve only played a few times, but I already in awe of what an amazing teacher He has turned out to be. I eagerly await each time we play, every new lesson He teaches me, learning more about myself, and more about how I can please Him. I want so badly to please Him, but it’s more of a need, a necessity now. Something I not only wish to do, but something I must do to feel complete and whole within myself.

His always authoritive voice changes, now more domineering, more despotic. “Have you touched yourself while waiting for me?” He asks harshly. “No Master,I would never pleasure myself without Sir’s permission” I reply with a voice of certainty. I took His orders as law and did my best to follow them to the letter. “Good girl”. Again the flames sear through my body into my soul. Hearing those two little words from Master bring me such pleasure, both physically and emotionally, and make me feel like Sir’s prize pupil, they make me feel loved and complete. He sits down in the chair in the bedroom. His view of me from there is perfect, He had well planned the spot He instructed me to always wait for him at. The view was the same from the bed, perfectly planned.

As He sits back He asks if I am ready for Him somewhat casually. “Yes Sir, I am ready for you, ready to please you Sir” I replied quivering from the need for Him that had already begun to form inside of me. “No,I don’t think you are slut.” His voice was absolutely serious and stern as always, yet His face had the slightest smirk sneaking through. In our short time together, I already knew exactly what it meant. He had plans for me tonight, a new lesson to teach me. What could it be? I felt as excited as a child on Christmas morning. His lessons were much like gifts to me, as they always ended in unbridled pleasure for both of us. I immediately felt myself getting wetter with the longing and hunger of what will come, of Him.

His first instructions were very direct and clear. From His tone I knew they were to be followed directly, without exception, or I would be punished. “Touch yourself. I am allowing you to touch what is mine. However, do NOT dare to insert your fingers inside of yourself. Inside of you is a place that is only for me, for my pleasure.” “Yes Sir” I whispered through excitement, my body burning with the desire of being touched. My hands went first to my large breasts as I gently massaged both of them, calming the ache to be touched that had filled them moments before. My nipples were already erect and waiting. My fingers give them a slight squeeze, sending chills everywhere and causing my groin to burn a little hotter. I pull my nipples far enough that I feel pain, as soon as the pain begins I squeeze them much harder than the first time. The resulting pain turns instantly into pleasure. A pleasure that would turn my pussy from heated and wet directly to on fire and soaked, so desperately needing to find release.

As I moaned from the obvious pleasure Master was allowing me to give myself, I slowly caressed my skin as I led one of my hands to my wanton pussy and my awaiting clit. My fingers found there way there. My clit, already overly sensitive to my touch, was now being rubbed and encircled by my now wet fingers. All the while pulling and pinching my nipples, even harder now, moaning with each circle I made on my clit. The circles were becoming faster, my nipple were being pulled and squeezed harder and tighter still, and my breathing and moaning had become completely in sync with the movement on my clit. He knew I would cum at any moment, so one stern work was spoken, “Stop!” Although I knew I was moments away from the release I was longing for, so in need of, I immediately followed Sir’s order and replied “Yes Master” breathlessly. Yes, I was in desperate need of the release that had been so closely within reach, but I knew that whatever Master had in mind for me would bring me even more pleasure than I could ever bring myself. He knows my body, my desires, my needs, my soul, far better than I ever could.

His wanton slut ❤

Shakespeare

Most welcome, bondage, for thou art a way, I think, to liberty.

— William Shakespeare

His wanton slut ❤